Football. It's a funny game.
How funny, you ask?
Well, this funny.
Xhaka, Xhaka - It's Time for Captaincy
Granit Xhaka has been appointed as Arsenal's permanent captain by Unai Emery. He has made more errors leading to goals than any other Premier League player since 2016. Just the leader Arsenal need. pic.twitter.com/Lwf2aIbtSZ
— BenchWarmers (@BeWarmers) September 27, 2019
That was a play on the infamous Shakira World Cup song, if there was any confusion. With that out of the way, back to our regularly scheduled programming (of weak content, it's slow jammin', but don't worry, this one's so jammin, you know it, memes, it's so jammin) - the armband around Granit Xhaka's arm.
In the build-up to Arsenal's crunch - with a soft centre - clash with Manchester United, Unai Emery finally announced that it would indeed be the Swiss international who assumed the captaincy from the four previous ones who left in the summer.
Which went down well, obvs.
Granit Xhaka is named as Arsenal captain pic.twitter.com/lwY2u7kAAv
— Simpsons Arsenal (@SimpsonsArsenal) September 27, 2019
Me when I found out Xhaka is Captain
— Einstein (@yoticusV2) September 28, 2019
pic.twitter.com/pOh5To9oW8
Fortunately for those haters, Xhaka's first outing with armband went just as hoped:
Image: Club captain Granit Xhaka ducking out of the way of Scott McTominay’s opening goal of the game. pic.twitter.com/WKxcjE3A3S
— TheAFCnewsroom (@TheAFCnewsroom) September 30, 2019
In fact, he was so bad, even Roy Keane felt bad for him, refusing to kowtow to the Sky producers desperately baying for the Irishman to take Xhaka's ducking head, place it on a spear, and parade it around the studio like a placard, protesting against the meekness of modern football.
Man Utd vs Arsenal - The Last Straw
— football images that precede unfortunate events (@CursedFootball) October 1, 2019
And so to the game itself. This titanic mid-table battle between two sides straining every sinew in an attempt to prevent their fanbases from bantering them off online. And what a tussle it turned out to be - NOT! (see, told you it was coming back).
This was - and I can't stress this enough - a shambles. A horror show of an advert for the Greatest League in the World™, if you ask me, Clive. But you're not asking me. You're asking the internet, and here's how it responded:
Manchester United 1-1 Arsenal (30.09.2019) highlights pic.twitter.com/oG5hQUBZeY
— Zack from DOA 5 (@TheMSeries1) September 30, 2019
Manchester United vs Arsenal 2019 pic.twitter.com/xoktHtfQGc
— Scott Saunders (@_scottsaunders) September 30, 2019
Still, at least there was some VAR, which provided a wonderful opportunity for some new mematerial to be tested out on Premier League
Easy to understand why the assistant was distracted. pic.twitter.com/x3WSp0z1IO
— Jonny Sharples (@JonnyGabriel) September 30, 2019
joe cole|
Joe Cole pic.twitter.com/34qJgYN5hh
— Footy Jokes (@FootballMemesCo) September 29, 2019Kate Winslet talks new Steve Jobs movie as first official film poster is revealed http://t.co/mLeJCF2kRm pic.twitter.com/oxVjZ0zb7q
— 9to5Mac.com (@9to5mac) August 27, 2015
This is the poster for the 2015 film 'steve jobs|'.
This is the poster for the 2019 sequel 'joe cole|'.
Joe Cole looking like he's about to launch the iPhone 12 Pro pic.twitter.com/vNSkw9xcmz
— Footy Humour (@FootyHumour) September 28, 2019
We're told they could also be some crossover in the upcoming James Bond film 'No Time to Die'.
This follow's Cole's role in 'Peaky Blinders' of course, for which he has received critical acclaim the world over.
Steve Bruce - That's It, That's the Joke
— football images that precede unfortunate events (@CursedFootball) September 29, 2019
Speaking of Steves, a lot has been said about 'Brucey', a lot of it not good. You see, it seems Newcastle could, in fact, have chosen better.
His tactics? Wot tactics? It's all about effort. And work. And effort. And pashun. And effort.
Fabian Schär trying to deal with Jamie Vardy, Youri Tielemans and Ayoze Pérez.pic.twitter.com/tkureXIeoo
— Jonny Sharples (@JonnyGabriel) September 29, 2019
Defensive deficiencies that need to be ironed out on the training ground? Nah, you're alright.
This is a novel approach. Next weekend: forcing them to have their Christmas dohttps://t.co/r7tQ5JFQ4C
— Adam Hurrey (@FootballCliches) September 30, 2019
Thing is, this could end up being his tactical masterstroke, all things considered.
Smart move all things considered, the less time spent on the training ground with Steve Bruce the better the players will be. https://t.co/d67IoW0hEt
— Jonny Sharples (@JonnyGabriel) October 1, 2019
FIFA 20 Release Shenanigans
It has begun pic.twitter.com/TG8eD1pW8N
— Footy Jokes (@FootballMemesCo) September 28, 2019
FIFA 20 has been released. Some people cared, apparently.
Career Mode Fans when they hear News: #FIFA20 Title Update is Out
— Career Mode Insider (@CareerModeInsid) October 1, 2019
vs
After they read the FIFA20 Title Update Notes#FixCareerMode pic.twitter.com/QiYcUXB8mc
These are funny, apparently.
Well, this one is actually a bit funny. A* for effort as well. I'm sure Brucey would approve.
this is my boyfriend Renato, he didn’t die or anything but FIFA 20 came out so he won’t be seen until further notice pic.twitter.com/uSYdSw8DXx
— La colombiana✨ (@danidelosr) September 28, 2019
Source : 90min