Another (another) Premier League matchday has come and gone, and we know just a little bit more about each of the 20 teams.
For example - Manchester City = good, Liverpool = not as good. That's quick maths.
Anyway, let's tuck into some real piping hot takes while they're still fresh...
Manchester City - Ilkay Gundogan is a player of the year frontrunner
If you didn't think the title race was over before Man City won at Anfield, it is now.
But the resurgence of Ilkay Gundogan? Now that's the good stuff. He could have had a hat trick on Sunday but was nice enough to blast his penalty into Goodison Park.
And yet he still has nine goals in 17 games so far this season, doing every single job possible for Pep Guardiola in midfield. He should definitely be a serious player of the year candidate.
Manchester United - Now's the time to drop David De Gea
Unfortunately, there's a 12 minute long video of his errors from the last three years alone on YouTube that's ripe for an extended cut after their draw with Everton. Dean Henderson has looked decent whenever he's played and deserves a fair shot at usurping the Spaniard now.
Leicester City - Wesley Fofana's presence is sorely missed
Leicester have two clean sheets in their last two games without young centre-back Wesley Fofana, which is obviously good.
But they just didn't look solid in their draw with Wolves without him. The Foxes' Champions League push fell away last year because of injuries to key players, and they need to fix up to ensure that doesn't happen again.
Liverpool - Sadio Mane's lack of goals partly to blame for failed title defence
Liverpool are bad champions. Roy Keane told you so, that's nothing new.
But I don't think I've ever seen Sadio Mane criticised during his time at Liverpool though, and his inability to make things happen has been an underlying cause of the Reds' downfall this season. Just the seven Premier League goals so far this season, a bit off the lofty standards he's set himself since arriving at Anfield.
Chelsea - Timo Werner might not be a striker
He's a busy bee, little Timo. Always a nuisance - for the opposition and Chelsea, mind.
Werner's lost his goalscoring touch this season, but he's at least played well under new head coach Thomas Tuchel, grabbing another assist against Sheffield United (two if you count winning Chelsea's penalty, which I'm not because that's ridiculous).
I can't confidently say Werner will ever be a top No. 9, but he should at least be a really good wide forward.
West Ham - Squad too thin to sustain a European challenge
The Hammers looked cream-crackered in their draw with Fulham, and if not for Mike Dean stealing the show, there would have been more attention on their European push faltering.
David Moyes has made West Ham good, but sitting in fifth place midway through the season might be their ceiling.
Everton - Singlehandedly destroying the goalkeeper market
I'm not saying The Ev have the two worst goalkeepers in the Premier League, but grouping Jordan Pickford and Robin Olsen with Kepa Arrizabalaga definitely gives you the worst three.
Everton need a new stopper this summer, but you can bet they're going to be milked for all they've got now that teams can see how vulnerable you are with a hologram between the sticks.
Tottenham - A win is somehow a slap in the face to fans
Wait, you're telling me Spurs can play well and win? Quite easily?
Where's that been all season? Don't mug me off.
Aston Villa - Ollie Watkins for England
Pacy, skilful, a handful, the link-up, the build-up, the goals, the assists.
England have a lot of forward options for the Euros, but Watkins should definitely be getting a look in.
Leeds United - Raphinha should push for a big move
Yeah, I can imagine Leeds fans are delighted to read that I'm advocating for one of their best players to leave the club.
Look lads, Raphinha is quality, take it as a compliment, but he needs to take his talents to South Beach (Leicester or Spurs or Man Utd or something).
Arsenal - No longer part of the big six
You're 11th. Blame it on the referees, Mikel Arteta, Gunnersaurus' extinction, whoever. You're 11th.
You're banned from the big six bar.
Southampton - Desperately need a plan B
This might not have been the worst week in the history of Southampton Football Club, but it's a contender for the top one.
Low on confidence but still sticking to their guns - grow up. Try some defending, try some target men, anything.
Crystal Palace - Hit the glass ceiling under Roy Hodgson
The fact Roy Hodgson even dared to show his face in public again after his disastrous spell as England manager is amazing, let alone that he took a job at the team marooned at the bottom of the Premier League back in 2017.
Hodgson has done a fantastic job with the Eagles, but in their current guise, it's not going to get much better than lower-mid table with Wilfried Zaha or Ebere Eze bailing them out to make things interesting.
Harsh to sack the ol' boy, but something has to change if they want to keep moving up the table.
Wolves - The most boring team in the Premier League
Well done, Wolves. You have two of the most exciting players in the country in Pedro Neto and Daniel Podence and yet you're still as dull as dishwater.
Raul Jimenez really was the glue guy making things tick for Nuno Espirito Santo's men - they've won just twice in 13 Premier League games since the Mexican striker picked up a serious head injury.
Brighton - At long last, starting to look like an actual football team
Congratulations to Graham Potter's showtime Seagulls, who have at long last proven they're not a totally useless football team.
Seven points from three games against Spurs, Liverpool and Burnley is quite the haul, and has shown they can a) actually score goals and b) actually not concede loads of them.
Newcastle - Allan Saint-Maximin will save Steve Bruce's job
It's gone under the radar that the Magpies have been decimated by coronavirus this season, and it's no coincidence that their form suffered when Saint-Maximin was suffering from it.
But now that he's fit again, Newcastle have the outlet they need to climb the table, and Bruce will get enough good results to keep him in charge.
Burnley - What's the point anymore?
If Sean Dyche's Burnley can't even s***house a win against Brighton then there is no point of them being in the Premier League.
Fulham - Scott Parker clearly has the makings of a good manager
The lack of a real striker will be the reason Fulham will go down (they're already eight points adrift), but they at least play nice football and can defend well.
Scott Parker ? Graham Potter
West Brom - Big Sam's record going down the gutter
Sam Allardyce has never been relegated as a manager.
He better hold onto that sentiment while he can because the Baggies are going down.
Sheffield United - The best-worst team ever
Always felt Sheffield United's comparisons with that wretched Derby County team were overblown - the Rams of 2007/08 were getting blown out every week, but the Blades have now been defeated by just the odd goal an unlucky 13 times this season.
They're competitive - not necessarily good, but definitely not as bad as has been made out.
Source : 90min