Premiership Roundup - The team take a break

Last updated : 31 August 2005 By Aidan O'Byrne
Actually, the garden centres look a good bet, as on a club football level, there's a top flight pause for quite a while now, while England attempt to secure World Cup 2006 qualification without David James in the squad, and with Sven allegedly hunting for talent wherever he can find it (and much to Nancy's dismay).

In the week just gone, Chelsea secured a further two games' worth of maximum points, firstly at the expense of West Brom, the Throstle's visit being only the second home game of the defending Champions' season and yet finding tickets on sale on the day (albeit subject to the slightly ludicrous restriction of a maximum four tickets per non-existent applicant). Then Jose and co went to park their bus in front of the goal at White Hart Lane, where Martin Jol was oblivious to the inevitable effects of having signed a new contract. With all due inevitability, Chelsea secured all the points, Spurs striker Mido helping his side get the blues when Rob Styles told him to Walk Like An Egyptian (incidentally, can I just recommend this link to an official recording of Jose's half time team talks, which it turns out are nothing like the ones in the Amex ad).

Speaking of managers receiving the chairman's backing, Graeme Sourness (I'm giving in to the Microsoft spell-checker from now on, by the way) managed another impressive haul of nul points in the week just gone, and frankly if looks could kill, Freddie Shepherd's glare from the directors box after inept defending gifted Man United their second goal at St James Park would have flattened the whole bench as well as just the manager. Michael Owen may not seemingly be Going Down To Liverpool after all, but he'd be pretty mad to head for Toon town now, and although ex-Deportivo frontman Luque showed a bit of class early on in the game, you'd have to bet on the Barcodes changing bosses shortly before the season is too far advanced to recover.

Anfield's Eternal Flame must have flickered ever so slightly in midweek as the visiting Bulgarians' single and unanswered away goal momentarily threatened to imperil Champions League qualification, but in the end the inevitable happened and the draw in Monaco on Thursday unearthed two group stage clashes with Chelsea. Liverpool's manager Benitez steadfastly refused to answer the question put to him by ITV's touchline reporter about the future in the side of Djibril Cisse, though the Lord of Frodsham himself made a pretty emphatic point when coming off the bench in the Super Cup to score two and make the third for a previously pretty ordinary looking side.

Liverpool's defeat of "Roman Abramovic's other side" in Monaco meant that Arsenal were left without a weekend game, as an away trip to Anfield had been produced by the fixture computer for Saturday, this meaning that the highlight of my own footballing week was in fact on Wednesday evening against Fulham at Highbury. Since the Cottagers had never previously managed a League victory there in a period spanning 93 years of trying (and indeed had over the same period managed only two draws), it seemed unlikely that their last ever visit to the stadium (barring FA Cup draws in the New Year) would see them fare better. So what price then for a real upset as Claus Jensen's delightfully chipped an opener, taking advantage of a soft clearance - this goal scored in the just-twenty-minutes-gone zone when we would normally have expected to see the sadly absent streaker? And was there an omen in Lauren missing the penalty won shortly beforehand as Highbury's Hero Takes a Fall?

Well, no there wasn't, and the Fates were clearly deriding such a possibility when selecting the identity of Arsenal's saviour, ie Pascal "Zinedine" Cygan. Cygan's truly astounding brace trebled overnight his previous goalscoring tally for the club (you can tell it was amazing - he smiled!), and was added to by the just slightly more prolific Thierry Henry with two artfully crafted goals on an evening where he didn't otherwise seem to be trying too hard. Henry now sits one goal behind Ian Wright in the all time Arsenal goalscoring chart (I was myself pretty frustrated at his not taking the penalty due to the club policy that the man fouled never does, but I'm sure Wrighty was pleased), but one would imagine that even if Boro can shut him out at the Riverside in a couple of weeks time (looking unlikely given their 3-0 collapse on Sunday to the far from free-flowing Charlton), the game after that looks like being Thierry's landmark, as the mighty FC Thun of Switzerland play their first ever Champions League group stage match at Highbury.

Scoring records aside, Gooners will no doubt be looking forward to seeing the Swiss side's midfield, and in particular their number 3, a strong in the tackle, yet creative type who goes by the name of Vieira. No, I kid you not (see here), and if we weren't able to sign Uruguayan goalkeeper Sebastian Viera (note spelling) before the window shuts, why not go for this guy in January and give him the number 4 - it would have to be worth it in shirt sales alone, surely? In the meantime, I should also just briefly mention the real highlight of my week off the pitch, which was finally having the honour to choose my seats at the Cameldome, or the Emirates Stadium as it is officially known. Dead chuffed would not be adequate to describe the feeling of getting Everything I Wanted (Click here to see why, he he).

The Baggies' faithful can't really fault their side for effort, their game following defeat at the Bridge being a hard fought affair against Birmingham City, but Karren Brady, If She Knew What She Wants, couldn't have hoped for a better time for Emile Heskey to return to goalscoring form, this derby victory going some way to relieving pressure on Steve Bruce. Meantime, Bolton continued their fine run of form with an away win at the Boleyn, though I can't help feeling that the Hammers were the better side, or at any rate deserved more than a pure consolation Teddy Sheringham penalty out of the match.

Wigan finally got a break of luck in their favour with a slender win over Sunderland courtesy of a penalty awarded in the opening fifteen seconds of the game, and thus move clear of the relegation slots - for me the thing about this match that was a bit odd was watching Stefan Henchoz and Alan Stubbs tussling with each other without any scousers in the crowd on either side. That and the fact that ineffective Mackem striker Jon Stead looks quite so much like the ineffective G4 soprano whose name completely escapes me, but with whom he shares the distinction of being without the crucial X Factor...

For Everton, it was indeed a case of asking Where Were You When I Needed You at Fulham, Phil Neville continuing a grand tradition of petulant dismissals, and former Bluenose Brian McBride pouncing to confirm that the Toffees should possibly not have let him leave the club. And finally, Pompey look to be in real trouble; despite taking the lead at Man City against the run of play, there was never really any chance that they could make the result stick, and especially not with Andy Cole so evidently enjoying his football at the moment. Stuart Pearce duly bagged another three points to prove there is life after Shaun Wirhgt-Philipps and also to nicely set up a derby match in the next Premiership fixture coupon where the winner will not only have bragging rights, but will be guaranteed to sit above their rivals in the table.

As I say, then, nothing much happening over the next week or so at the top level, and there isn't even the ersatz pleasure of a possible Ashes-winning Test Match to keep us going. Ho Hum.