In a bygone age, it used to be commonplace that all the teams in the top division played on the same day, for example on a Saturday, and at the same time, spookily enough at 3pm. Of course, we didn't manage the 3pm bit, and it was a Monday, but all the same there was something suitably festive about actually seeing every team in the top division on the classified results.
At the Valley, I was amused by the pre-match presentation to the crowd of Emilio, MD of the club's new shirt sponsors Llanera, who are apparently a very successful Spanish property development company (cue “Dodgy timeshare” and “would you buy a flat from him?” from the travelling support), and whom Addicks will be hoping is better set up to actually pay them for the privilege of advertising on their shirts than the now defunct Allsports or its bought-out-of-administration successor JJB, who already seem to have a Premiership team in tow. Emilio, it was announced, had “travelled through the night” from “all the way in Spain” to make the match, but I personally would have forgiven him for staying at home with the family, since the only notable Spaniards he saw on display were those combining nicely in midfield for the visiting team, one of whom bundled home a rebound for the gunners' second away league win of the season.
At Anfield, Michael Owen drew a semi-inevitable blank while Crouch pounced to seal a home win which had been started by Gerrard, Shearer could once again have been dismissed, while Lee Bowyer managed to go one better with a foul on Alonso and then start a fight with the giraffe on his reluctant way to an early shower. Away at Villa Park, Stanley Park neighbours Everton fell behind to a ridiculous Maradona-impersonating Baros, who grabbed the ball out of the air with his left arm before chipping it past Nigel Martyn, and then conceded a further 3 goals after the break. Maddening though the lapse in officiating may be, when a referee 10 yards away misses a blatant handball only 10 yards from him, the second half collapse rendered this largely irrelevant, and cannot be good preparation for the Toffees hosting of the Merseyside derby this Wednesday evening.
More dodgy officiating at Stamford Bridge, where plucky Fulham were unlucky to only be awarded one penalty and Chelsea fortunate not to be down to ten men, a quality Crespo finish sparing the billionaire-backed team's blushes after they had squandered a two goal lead. Goals aplenty also at JJB-sponsored Wigan, the Lactics coming from a goal down to eventually vanquish Man City 4-3, thus disproving Stuart Pearce's theory that giving the players a whole day with their families at Christmas would prove motivational.
There was bad news for travelling West Midlanders as both Birmingham City and West Brom crashed and burned without scoring at White Hart Lane and Old Trafford respectively, while Blackburn fans could at least celebrate getting maximum points from Middlesbrough, although of course there was the downside of having had to go to Teesside to get them.
Neither Bolton nor the Black Cats could summon a goal in Sunderland, while the Laurent Robert fan club at Fratton Park lost a few more members as the founder got himself sent off as Pompey attempted a regain the lead they'd squandered against Harry Redknapp's former employers West Ham (Harry could at least chuckle that Southampton were doing worse away at Watford).
Phew! Quite a lot to get through in summarising results, which makes it all the more mad that the fullest Match of the Day programme in ages was scheduled to start at 11.20pm, far too late to be competitive against Sky's match coverage service, even discounting the three games they'd managed to show live anyway. What is the point of having BBC3 and 4 if you can't use them to solve scheduling problems like that when they're caused by the need to show the holiday movie in “Prime Time”, then?
Enjoy yourself till next week and have a very Happy New Year!