The way I see it – The Phoney Russian Franchise v Arsenal

Last updated : 08 December 2006 By Jason Hogan
Nevertheless, for all the dark and depressing images that they try to constantly paint about the Arsenal, a little bit of light has broken through all the supposed darkness and gloom in the last few days.

Beating The Scum last weekend for a start was hugely satisfying, wasn't it? True, we enjoyed, for once, the benefit of some generous officiating from none other than the Thing From Tring also known as Graham Poll. But, the fact is Spurs deservedly got exactly the same thing we deservedly got against Fulham the previous Wednesday – NOTHING.

In a performance that was workmanlike rather than dashing, effective and efficient rather than swashbuckling, what impressed me, ironically enough, was the fact that we were able to do to Spurs what many a team has been credited with doing to us – we stopped them playing.

We were the ones getting into the faces of Spurs before they had a chance to get their own brand of pass and move football going. And, as a result, the likes of Berbatov, Keane and Lennon were virtually made redundant as an attacking threat all afternoon. That in itself, is no mean feat these days – even the Phoney Russian Franchise can testify to that after what happened to them when they played the Scum at Shite Hart Lane a few weeks ago.

Having won again notably without the services of Henry, amongst others, it meant that we were able to go into the game against Porto with renewed heart – at least that's what we Gooners were entitled to think at least on the face of things.

However, what unfolded in the Dragao Stadium in Porto was far from heart-warming. Instead, everyone that holds Arsenal dear were left to sweat for 90-odd long minutes as the team went into the game with a hesitant, conservative approach which totally went against our natural instincts and the consequence was that our Champions League campaign very, very nearly came to a fatal, premature end.

In the midst of all the media driven conspiracy theories of a carve-up, there was at least one team out there on the pitch in Portugal who made anything approaching a genuinely concerted attempt to win the game – and sadly, it wasn't the Arsenal.

Watching the game myself, I felt that, if I didn't know any better, that the Arsenal lads were doped up to the eyeballs on Valium. In fact, given the way we passed the ball in general and particularly the way we dallied about at times in and around our own box, you would have thought we had been given a pre match meal of magic mushrooms with a hefty helping of angel dust rather than angel delight for dessert!

As for Porto, they certainly played the game with far more purpose than we did. Before we met Porto at The Grove, I remember saying to you all that Ricardo Quaresma was a lad with the same sort of ability as the little winker, Cristiano Ronaldo.

Well, Quaresma was far and away the most outstanding player on view from either side and given that we did not ever look like scoring even if we carried on playing until New Years Day, it was to my huge relief that that he saw not one but two strikes come crashing back off the very same post in the second half.

Thankfully, Porto were prepared to call it quits in the last five minutes and even I could feel what was a genuine sense of relief about that within the Arsenal ranks. The fact that Hamburg had also come from behind to go 3-2 ahead against CSKA in Germany guaranteed that that was well ended well for us. And, like ManUre, Liverpool and the PRF we qualified for the knockout stages as group winners.

That little fact didn't stop the press and the media banging on and on about a carve-up or slating our hopes of winning the Champions League. But hey, we are the Arsenal! Did any of you, my fellow Gooners, expect the press to show some originality and apply a sense of perspective?

I mean, whilst it's true that we put on a performance to forget, the circumstances we found ourselves in were rather surreal. What's more, for the seventh time this season from eight games we have played without the services of Henry, we have come out of the game without tasting defeat and the Doomsday scenario that the press were painting in run up to the Porto game has been rendered academic.

Look, I'm not saying that everything in the Arsenal garden, if you like, is rosy. But it never ceases to amaze me how the press and the media have this pathetic ability to put to blow even the slightest little thing at the Arsenal into a full blown crisis which leaves our club teetering on the edge of oblivion time and time again.

It wouldn't be so bad if we were the ones in this day and age throwing around £100 million at the drop of a hat buying a whole host of underperforming, ready made players with ready made reputations. But then, as I have said many a time, when you are someone that holds Arsenal's interests close to your heart, you have to accept if not be aware of the fact that we as a club will always be damned whatever we do. It may not be right but it comes with the territory, doesn't it?

Now, at this point I would normally take this as my cue to start elaborating over our opponents for the next game. But, just like last weekend, you all know full well who we are playing, where we are playing them and when.

What I will say is that in contrast to last week, where I felt for example that the Arsenal had no hiding place if we failed to stand up and be counted against The Scum, I am going into this Sunday's fixture in a totally relaxed frame of mind.

Why? Well, there are a few reasons really. First of all, we have in my opinion already played what is annually our biggest game of the season at Old Trafford against the other pile of scum that is also known to some as Manchester United. No matter what the status quo in football happens to be at any given time and no matter if we were fighting for the title or even in a relegation dogfight, Old Trafford is the one venue in this country where my craving for an Arsenal victory is at its most intense.

In fact, no matter where the two clubs happen to be in the league, my mentality is that even if Arsenal played ManUre three times a year ever year for the next ten years and beat them every time, I would still be dying to see us beat them over and over again every we played them over the next ten years after that. It's a sentiment that will never leave me.

The same thing applies when we play the Scum from just up the Seven Sisters Road. The sheer thought of losing to them at any time under any circumstances is something that I know will linger unpleasantly in my mind for months on end before we got the chance to play them again.

Even when we play Liverpool, particularly at Anfield, it is a fixture with a genuinely special feel to it that I cannot explain. I suppose it has something to do with the fact that when I was growing up in the seventies and the eighties, they were the team that set the standards not just in England but in Europe too.

And, what Liverpool and ManUre both have in common is that, even in the current climate, they are the only two clubs that Arsenal really have to aspire to in terms of what they have achieved in the game to any degree.

I could go on and on in this vein but I would end up writing my own version of War and Peace if I did. But, my fundamental point is that for me, whilst I would reluctantly admit that Sunday's game may be a big one from a commercial point of view, it's not a game that will ever get my pulse racing in the same way as a match against ManUre, the Spuds or even Liverpool.

We all know what the PRF have achieved lately but in all honesty, watching the PRF win back to back league titles has been a bit like watching a steroid fuelled Ben Johnson coming out of retirement and winning an Olympic 100 metres gold medal having had a ten yard head start on the rest of the field.

Unlike any other game we will play at home or abroad this season, the fact is that the Arsenal do not, for once, actually have anything to lose. After all, the PRF are widely considered to be the be all and end all in world football irrespective of the Abramovich factor these days, aren't they? The Arsenal are certainly considered to be anything but. The PRF are lords and masters of all they survey, aren't they? The Arsenal are considered to be anything but. And, the PRF are widely considered to be one only two teams that can win the Premiership this season, aren't they? Whereas, the Arsenal are considered not to be one of them.

So, if you then simply throw in the fact that the PRF could find themselves nine points behind ManUre in the Premiership and the fact that most people will expect them to wipe the floor with us even if we had a full strength side available anyway, I think the pressure is firmly on them to deliver on Sunday.

Am I saying that the Arsenal have no chance on Sunday? No, of course I'm not. Because there have been plenty when I have seen the Arsenal defy odds that have been stacked a lot higher against us down the years and we have even managed to win the odd major trophy or two in the process.

Still, if the Arsenal get beat on Sunday, then it will only confirm the smug, conceited opinions of every fan of the PRF and every so-called expert outside of London N5. If we win, well, certainly in terms of the Premiership title race if nothing else, the cat will have landed slap bang amongst the pigeons.

Now, what would the press and the media have to say about that?