Twitchy arses at the Lane

Last updated : 06 May 2006 By Brian Dawes

And that would be a very sensible precaution I would have thought. For Tottenham this is their biggest game since they screwed up a League Cup Final against Blackburn. They had the t-shirts ready then, they had their fans in party mode and yet they managed to ruin their second class away day in Cardiff and screwed up big time on the bigger stage. Blackburn back then were definitely not the team they are today, but the Tiny Totts bottled it. Pressure does funny things to players, stomachs knot and arses twitch and just whom can you name in the Tottenham side who has the experience to cope? Other of course than an ageing Dutch crock who regularly gets booked and goes by the name of Davids…. And he's probably only there to boost his pension fund.

West Ham may have a Cup Final the following week but they won't want to go into that match in a losing frame of mind. They too hate the Scum, so they certainly won't be looking to roll over and die on their home turf on the last game of the season. Apart from which the Hammers fans won't let them. So long as the arch Spurs tosser Sherringham is not allowed to take a penalty for the Hammers I'm confident that West Ham will do everything necessary. They will do what they have to do. Tottenham are just not used to such giddy heights of pressure and with a relatively young defence there will be a good few squeaky bums in the away team. Fourth place may seem like nothing at all to shout about to us, but to them it's their whole season. That's why they'll be shitting bricks, whether it be on the pitch, in the stands, in the pub or just plain shitting themselves at home.

Go on you ‘Ammers!