Arsenal 2 Thun 1: Thank heaven we've got Dennis Bergkamp!

Last updated : 15 September 2005 By Brian Dawes

Dennis - Still the gov'nor
They also looked like the Polish national team with their white shirts and red shorts, so maybe that is what influenced the Polish ref – a certain Mr Grzegorz Wankerski Gilewski. Thun set their stall out with a standard, predictable, but very effective and well-drilled 4-5-1, they countered very fast and played in a whole hearted fashion for the full 93 minutes. The fact that they rolled around on the ground a lot (no Swiss roll jokes here please) and wasted loads of time in the second half is neither here nor there.

Arsenal gave Thun a battering from the off with Van Persie and Reyes in good form. Campbell was back with the captain’s armband and Freddie also returned to our line-up. Our strip looked a tad different because of the all gold lettering on the shirts, which somehow made the gold on the back of our shirts look very, well, golden I suppose. Of course we should have stuffed them but European football isn’t like that any more as the half time scoreboard around Europe showed – just one goal scored in the eight games being played.

I’d need far more time than I have to list here all our near misses, but it seemed that for most of the night that either we tried to walk it in through a packed defence. Or we had a shot that went just inches past the far post. Or we tried to pass them to death instead of shooting. Granted it’s difficult to find an opening against a packed defence sitting with ten men back but more shots might have given us more messy goal chances, rather than the clear cut killer goals we always seem to seek.

Reyes won a corner. The Wankerski in charge gave a yellow for the first foul of the game after four minutes, against Kolo, a total joke! Van Persie to Pires who cut inside and bent one past the far post – close. Van Persie with a snap shot on his right peg; the keeper parried. Reyes tripped wide left. A free kick where Pires played it in to Kolo who almost got on the end of it with a diving header. Hodzic carded for tripping Reyes in a good move. Almunia out to dive at feet in a rare Thun counter attack. Robin’s feet ere too fast for the defender who gave away a clumsy free kick. Rolled (Swiss?) short to Kolo who blasted one with power, but their keeper parried for a corner. More good attacking as Reyes had a shot parried and Van Persie won a corner off the rebound.

Why do we the crowd, which was tonight a reduced capacity 34,498, get excited about corners? ‘Chopper’ Rob in a on thunderous 50/50 challenge, which laughingly saw Bernardi roll around like a cuckoo clock tumbling down an Alpine mountain. Gilberto with a shot from range,which was easy for their keeper, whom I would like to have been tested more than he was because I thought he was iffy. Their defence was solid however and chances were sparse. We were playing well; the game was bound to open up later in the second half when we would undoubtedly prise them open. A great run and cross from Reyes who was looking sharp tonight. Thun did look dangerous on the break at this stage, but fortunately they didn’t have too many. That said, a long shot by Adriano woke Almunia up.

A fierce cross from Freddie either poll axed Milicevic or he was play acting, my money was on poll axed this time around. Reyes was down injured after turning quickly, but he was ok after treatment. More corners (unexciting as usual) Reyes (back was on now) laid one back to Cesc who shot low and just wide, our story of the night. Van Persie to Reyes whose shot seemed to go under the keeper and Freddie followed up to seemingly score. The ref ruled he’d kicked it out of the keeper’s hands however, so a free kick to Thun.

What happened next was what was described by Paul of Northampton in a text as ‘the worst red card in history’. Van Persie, with his eye on the ball all the way, attempted to control it with his foot whilst the ball was still high in the air. A defender by the name of Orman got his head in the way and it should have been an indirect free kick for inadvertent dangerous play. But no, the **** sent Van Persie off, the players went ape, the crowd went ape, Le Boss went ape. UEFA will not rescind this because they are a bunch of amateur plonkers who always back every referee no matter how pants he is. This decision was the worst red card I’ve seen at Highbury since Vieira got sent off for a second yellow against Pool when he clearly did not make contact.

Mr Grzegorz Wankerski Gilewskis is a useless article and should be chucked off UEFA’s list – but we all know he won’t be, because UEFA are spineless. Serious foul play MY ARSE – it was a totally fecking accident you useless twat!

Half time and we’re up against it with just the ten men for the whole of the second half.

We were up for it though. Looking good, playing well and upping the pace if that’s possible with ten men. The home crowd were, as usual, moaning because most of them don’t know their arses from their ear holes. 4-5-1 is hard to break down, European football is getting more and more tedious but we were on top and playing well. We’d done ok but luck clearly isn’t with us at this stage of the season. Orman had a huge headband on to make the point about being kicked by Robin, but got roundly booed for the entire second half, rather unfairly I thought as the poor man did get kicked in the head. Intentionally or not.

Ferreira chopped Freddie. A great ball from Cesc to Lauren won us another corner. I was just saying how I never get excited by corners these days, Armstrong to Radford now they were what you call real corners blah, blah, blah.. When Reyes hit a peach to the far post. Gilberto, our best header of a ball, rose high really stretching and powered it back across goal into the top corner. 1-0 Arsenal and an unkind chorus of ‘Who are you?’

Two minutes later they equalised when Ferreira appeared to hook one back into the area over his shoulder. As luck would have it, it was perfectly placed and Almunia could do nothing as it sailed into the top corner at the far post. 1-1 and totally undeserved on Thane’s part, this being their second shot (and I use the term loosely) of the game. ….but shit happens. All too often in the Champion’s League it seems. More moaning form the home fans followed you’ll be surprised to hear.

How much better to support your team rather than moan. Shit happens – live with it!

Goncalves axed Freddie and was booked. Campbell was manhandled and hauled down in their box – but no penalty. Now Sol was out-jumped by someone six inches shorter than himself earlier, so I’m not saying he would have got there, but a pen is a pen is a pen. Sol did ok tonight but he still has some work to do to regain full fitness in my opinion.

What followed was a siege of the North Bank give or take a few minutes. It must have been exciting for neutrals everywhere but it was agony for most Gooners as we huffed and puffed and nearly but not quite got our deserved winner. A free kick played in nicely, the lino gave offside but it wasn’t. Gelson on for Adriano ‘Who?’ Bernardi hoofed one over from a miss hit cross. Cole blocked well. Arsenal break, Reyes looks for a penalty, it wasn’t given, and so the crowd chanted ‘The referee’s a wanker’. Indeed he was, but did he understand the words to the chant? Or is it the objective of continental referees to induce such a chant. Stranger things have happened!

Reyes chased down and almost scored. The Swiss were rolling around on the floor mainly at this stage, I say Swiss, but they had Bosnians, the odd Cameroon, Australians, some Swiss, a German and quite a few Brazilians in their squad. Time wasting was rife, frustration was on going.

Gilberto with a shot blocked. Freddie to Rob – almost. Freddie storms in and flicks it just wide as he collides with Jakupovic, their keeper. Vieira (I kid you not) on for Gerber ‘Who?’. Cesc, who played well, was replaced by Dennis. More free kicks, a Pires does a nutmeg, more time wasting from Thun, a long range shot at Almunia, Quincy on for Reyes who took about ten minutes to leave the field. Hleb on for Ljungberg. Gilberto was whacked in the eye and ordered off because he was bleeding. No free kick and no fecking card, the referee was quite clearly a tosser. Ferreira grabbed Cole, on his way through, for a yellow card. They have a shot cleared off the line from I know not who. But mostly Arsenal were still trying to walk it in and doing our brains in as a result.

Three minutes added time, this was for two goals, three bookings, six substitutions, a few injuries, loads of rolling around on the pitch, time wasting in abundance and Dennis knows what! It should have been about thirty-three minutes!

One minute into added time and Dennis got a high ball into the box, he partially controls it, he’s battling with a defender, brute force and determination sees Dennis recover from the floor to stab it past an advancing keeper into the corner of the net. 2-1 Arsenal - cue euphoria on our part! Not a pretty goal, but loads more like this please Arsenal!

‘WE’VE GOT DENNIS BERGKAMP!, WE’VE GOT DENNIS BERGKAMP!, WE’VE GOT DENNIS BERGKAMP!, WE’VE GOT DENNIS BERGKAMP!, WE’VE GOT DENNIS BERGKAMP!,

Th big screen announced that Vieira had been sent off for Juve and that Rooney was sent off for United – I didn’t laugh honest guv!