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Tottenham kicked off towards the new North Bank but it was Arsenal who mounted the first real attack when Van Persie almost put Rosicky in. Great skills by Adebayor in their box as Freddie hit the deck for the first time. It was good early pressure from Arsenal. Rosicky went for a solo down the middle. Lennon was caught offside in their first attack. Freddie tripped wide right and Robin's free kick won a corner. Our next attack saw Robin taken out on the edge of the area but the fool in the black shirt, Graham bloody Poll since you ask, gave nothing. Zokora had the ball stolen from him by Cesc, the first of much poor play from him. Tottenham then had their best chance of the match as they broke left but Malbranque hit his shot wide.
Assou-Ekotto should have been given a card when he took Freddie out, but wasn't. Poll continued to officiate with all the wisdom of dead Norwegian Blue when he gave a free kick against Rosicky. Keane who was the Totts only player who showed he wanted to win then hung onto Gilberto for a free kick. Our speed and movement was a problem that the Totts couldn't handle so Tainio just took to kicking people. Not that it mattered because we were in the sort of mood where the other team were not allowed to play with our ball. Kolo played a ball straight down the middle and the Totts tried to play offside. They failed and Emmanuel with his long legs steamed towards goal and was very cool and calm as he stroked it past England's chubby little keeper to make it 1-0 to the Arsenal. Adebayor ran straight to Henry on the bench and gave him a big hug. Twenty minutes in and the opposition had yet to win a corner, which also helped.
This match was already the noisiest we'd witnessed in our new home and our goal cranked up the volume. First goal to Arsenal so that must mean we'd win three-nil right? Freddie broke right and shot over. Freddie broke out of defence but Poll pulled play back. No Advantage given by the world's leading exponent of the three-card trick. Eboue was clattered off the ball and required treatment. Three-card Poll hadn't a clue what was going on and his lino was no help. Zokora then lost the ball to Adebayor, for Zokora think Song having a worse game than he did at Fulham. Cesc was next up to break into their box. Kolo was held by Berbatov but not spotted by Poll. Kolo had special shorts on for this game; he'd had an extra pocket built in them and put Berbatov in it for the entire match.
Assou-Ekotto finally got his well overdue yellow card for his nth trip. A Van Persie screamer from the corner of their box could have been touched in by Djourou or a number of others, instead it whistled past the post. Berbatov hauled down Djourou who was excellent today. A great Clichy run and cross but an easy shot for Robinson from Adebayor. Another lousy hoof by Robinson as the Totts were closed down and forced back again. Everyone in a red shirt was working hard. Adebayor broke clear again but was pulled back because he clipped King, mainly because King was attempting to obstruct him. Dawson then did the most appalling dive against Clichy right in front of us. No yellow card though! Soon after Dawson's dive Lehmann fumbled a cross, but there was no real threat.
Rosicky worked into their box and went down under a challenge from Chimbonda who looked to get a lot of Tomas and a bit of the ball. Still it is always better to get an iffy penalty against a team like Tottenham because it makes it all the more enjoyable. Besides Poll gave us nothing throughout the match. Gilberto stepped up like a good captain and hit a hard shot low into the corner. 2-0 to the Arsenal and the entire crowd showed that it's not just cockerels that can crow because the ‘1961 Oh Dear' appeared.
A free kick in headed clear by the Totts. Adebayor, who was here there and everywhere, flattened Lennon. Lehmann took a high ball and his only competition to reach it was four Arsenal defenders. The longer the half went on the more inept the Totts looked. Two minutes added time. Another Adebayor break, Berbatov miles offside before diving while Keane continued his headless chicken impersonation by mouthing off to Poll. Half time and two goals to the Arsenal and none to the cornerless Tottenham. This match was in the bag.
Jenas replaced Malbranque and Assou-Ekotto was taken off before he was sent off, Lee Young-Pyo replaced him. Lennon moved left and Eboue took good care of him just as Gael had in the first half. Not that it did them any good. We were in control, in fact we were now in total control of the most one-sided derby match I can recall in years. We passed the Totts to death throughout the second half, at times we were baiting them with last second passes, later in the half we were just taking the piss. Cesc especially. Lehmann had a go at our crowd in the South End and they responded with added volume. Adebayor with a good cross following a fast free kick. Clichy tidied up at the back and it was soon back up to Adebayor who was brilliant throughout. His runs were effective, fast and strong, his hold up play was good and his close control was the best I've seen from him.
Rosicky disappeared after just ten minutes to be replaced by Hleb. The Totts won their first corner after 55 minutes but Keane fouled Lehmann so we got a free kick anyway. If Adebayor hadn't been caught offside so often we might have had a hat full. ‘Champions League you're having a laugh'. Arsenal continued to pass it around in a willfull manner, sometimes at pace, sometimes we just stroked it around. The three-nil was already preordained so it was only a question of when it would happen. Lehmann blocked a shot from Jenas and Kolo beat Lennon to the ball to concede another corner. They got just the two corners in the entire match.
Kolo was then absolutely brilliant in the way he beat Lennon all ends up to kill an attack. More fine passing from Arsenal, this was a joy to watch. Tainio on Fabregas with a really bad foul but no card and not so much as a free kick. When Cesc came back he was quite clearly taking the verbal piss out of the hapless Zokora. More great passing from Arsenal, more headless chicken chasing from the Totts. A wild shot from Jenas. Class stuff from Van Persie who'd worked as hard at closing players down as he had at carving them up.
‘One Arsene Wenger' Adebayor shoved over in the box, nothing given. A card for Gilberto for a foul on Chimbonda. Van Persie on a lost cause run into their box beat two men to the ball and was tripped by Jenas. A second penalty, clear-cut and no question at all that it was a penalty, plus a yellow card. Our cool calm captain Gilberto stepped up again. He sent Robinson the wrong way and stroked it to the keeper's left as he dived right. 3-0 to the mighty Arsenal. ‘Go home, you might as well go home'. Tainio dived in our box as the chant went up of ‘Are you Tottenham in disguise'. Adebayor and Van Persie with some great stuff but Robin stayed down and went off for treatment.
A great long run by Clichy, to Cesc, to Hleb to Clichy whose shot was saved. Adebayor was still working his rocks off as Baptista came on for the injured Van Persie who'd had a great match. The crowd as usual started leaving with ten minutes to go, only this time it was the away section who had been embarrassed enough by now and clearly couldn't take any more. Jenas then pulled Freddie back by the neck and hauled him over. Needless to say Poll bottled on a second yellow.
Arsenal now went into total piss-take mode. Baptista had a shot deflected for a corner. Adebayor was replaced with three minutes remaining and went off to one of the biggest ovations to date in our new home. Theo replaced him. Hleb slipped Eboue through who hit a rocket, unfortunately straight at the keeper. A bad foul by Keane on Eboue got nothing from the useless Poll. Djourou did well again. Baptista almost put Freddie through and the final whistle went. Four would have been nice but 3-0 will do me against the Totts in the most one-sided local derby for ages.
When the game ended Kolo was kind enough to take Berbatov out of his pocket and shake hands with him. The team celebrated, the fans celebrated and we can all walk around with big silly grins again.