Arsenal 3 Wolves 0: Walking in a Bergkamp Wonderland

Henry is tackled by Cameron

Oh Arsene what big ambitions you’ve got, all the better to thrash you with says Mr Wenger, as Davey Jones sinks down to his rock bottom locker. Look out Wolves Henry’s behind you! Oh no he’s not, oh yes he is! I’m sure there were other panto characters about today but only one ugly sister. She went by the name of Mr P Dowd and she changed her role to the pantomime villain as he booked seven players in a match that was both low key and a million miles from being nasty.

Gael Clichy was in at left back and looked the part. He made lots of positive runs and hit some mean crosses, at just eighteen he lacks full strength and stamina but his ability and pace were very evident and it looks like he will seriously challenge Ashley for his place in a year or so. Ray joined Pat in central midfield and with Dennis shrugging off an injury doubt there were no further changes. Arsenal bossed this match from start to finish playing our accustomed brand of slick, tidy football. Wolves had the first shot, if indeed that’s what it was, with a limp effort from Cameron. Cameron spent a lot of time snapping around the heels of Vieira as effectively as a mouse attacking a charging rhino. Pat hasn’t quite got back to 100% yet but managed to play a part in both our first half goals.

Pires found Thierry with a sweet ball that Henry struck well with his left, but it was saved low at the expense of a corner. Dennis took the corner, on which Pascal managed to get a glancing header, but not quite enough glance. A joke free kick against Parlour was a sign of things to come from Dowd. Arsenal’s pressure was good all over the pitch, we closed well and built with purpose. Dennis took charge of the orchestra and was even still around to take his curtain call centre stage for once. Butler picked up the first booking for a foul on Pat, it was around the edge of their box right side. Henry beat the wall, but his low shot was saved at the expense of a corner. He took it himself and Rob couldn’t get quite high enough for the header, so it landed with Pat challenging to get his toe to the ball. Unfortunately Craddock (no chants of ‘are you Fanny in disguise’) got to it first, fortunately he scored an own goal. 1-0 Arsenal.

It looked to me as though Wolves ‘You’ll never play here again’ were always playing for a three-nil defeat. Their 4-5-1 was never good enough to keep us at bay, and never looked much of a threat going forward. Oleg was in at right back for Wolves, having spent a chunk of the season injured, he got a good reception from the Gooners. He’s not faster than a speeding bullet though and nor are the ageing Ince and Irwin, so we always had the edge. Wolves retreated and tried to put up a double-banked wall but Thierry, Dennis, Robert and Freddie can carve up most defences, including these turkeys. Having gone a goal behind Wolves changed nothing and Arsenal’s pressure remained reasonably high tempo. ‘Premiership, you’re having a laugh’.

Vieira and Rae exchange Christmas greetings!

Pat stole a ball from the hapless Craddock, who was last man, and so he took it on, cut back inside and laid it into the path of Henry who slipped it low past the keeper whilst falling backwards. 2-0 Arsenal. Ince got a strop on in a manner that suggested he was the only one trying, he wasn’t, in fact he was just as inept as the other gold shirts. A Bergkamp shot followed more slick play. Freddie also got through but couldn’t beat the last man. A fabulous ball from Pat to Thierry, we were well on top. Rae was a bit late on Dennis and he was booked, which seemed to be a bit excessive. Henry scudded the free kick through to hit the post from range. Arsenal remained on top apart from one dangerous cross from Kennedy.

Miller, who’s no speed king, was too fast for Cygan but Lehmann held his ground to perfection and blocked the shot to thunderous applause. A Pires run set up a Parlour drive that was tipped around for a corner. Dennis was set up with the next shot that was also saved. Cygan showed that Camara was also able to outpace him as Wolves had a rare little spell in our half. Rae axed Vieira but as the ref went to his pocket he twigged that he’d already booked their number four and so gave him a lecture instead. I’d regard this as common sense if I thought Dowd had any, but I don’t. Craddock hoofed over, it wasn’t his day and it doesn’t look like being Wolves’ season. Pires, to Henry to Dennis who clipped one that won another corner. Half time and we all knew the second half was destined to peter out.

Although Arsenal rarely hit top gear after the break we still managed to look three classes above our opponents. This wasn’t too difficult but we still worked Wolves pretty hard even if it wasn’t quite total football. Henry tried a cheeky chip at the near post. Rae tripped Ray. Pat claimed, and looked to have won the ball in defence but a free kick was given to Wolves. From the kick Naylor passed to Kennedy, who could only find our wall. Great stuff by Kolo down the right and this was followed by Dennis jumping over three attempted fouls whilst keeping control of the ball. ‘We’re walking in a Bergkamp wonderland’ A good period of football from Arsenal. Freddie obstructed, then was Pat charged over as we retained control. Brilliant stuff from Dennis to Henry who made space to set up a return ball to Dennis who curled his shot wide. This was Dennis at his best today, he looked the part.

Freddie won a corner, but when the ball fell to Sol who got it caught under his feet and shot over. Ince was late on Ray, and despite Ray giving him a hug, he was still booked. Dennis won a streaky corner and Cameron tried an unconvincing slow-motion dive around the edge of our box, it looked like an action replay. Edu and Aliadiere replaced Freddie and Pires who’d both strutted their stuff quite well today. These substitutions being more about Arsene looking to the next game, I suspect. A charge on Jeremie by Naylor(?) resulted in a retaliatory tackle by our French youngster who was booked. The East Stand were unimpressed. Almost immediately Rae took out Parlour but didn’t get the deserved and long overdue second yellow card. Pat was then carded in what can only have been a trophy booking for Dowd. Ince shot wide, to much derision from the Clock End. Miller was replaced by Newton before Rae was guilty of some blatant shirt pulling, which once again went unpunished. Two quick bookings followed, one for Naylor who hacked at Jeremie and one for Luzhny who was done up like a kipper by Edu. The West Stand protested by Oleg still got booked. Oleg smiled and applauded us back.

Henry gets the third goal - Game over

Aliadiere to Dennis who had yet another shot saved for a corner, as did Aliadiere who was set up by Henry at the near post. Ince was all over Henry as the North Stand protested in vain to the ref. Kolo had a storming charge down the right as news filtered through of Charlton’s 4th. goal against Chelski. ‘We love you Arsenal, we do, we love you Arsenal, we do, we love you Arsenal, we do, oh Arsenal we love you’. Sturridge came on for Camara in time to see Edu dwell on the ball and get his shot blocked. The next break saw Henry push it left at an angle that looked too far, but that is just me underrating Thierry’s left peg as he slotted home in the far corner with a minute to go. 3-0 to the Arsenal. Naylor had time to blast over a free kick but Dowd, thankfully, had insufficient time to make another pointless booking.

Apparently Fiszman and Hill-Wood are about to find the buried treasure just as the panto season ends, which is good new boys and girls. Meanwhile the Tottenham Panto is turning to farce, as today they slid to within a point of the bottom three. Ho, ho, ho, Merry Christmas everybody and a silverware laden New Year to you all.

Just one more seasonal thought before I go; isn’t it strange that so many of the Christmas Carols you hear at this time of year seemed to based on Arsenal songs?