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If my calculations are correct Arsenal had also managed a staggering 323 minutes without conceding a goal, well I say staggering but what I really mean of course staggering by this season’s poor defensive standards. This would have been the norm in GG’s day. I had actually previously been to Bolton for an F A Cup tie at their old stadium, or was it their open plan sewer, way back in February 1980. When if I recall correctly a big lump by the name of Sam Allardyce scored for them in a 1-1 draw his leap for the scoring header was likened at the time to a flying wardrobe.
The O2 flag made a welcome reappearance in the upper stand at the Reebok and billowing out like a sail. It was both windy and cold up north. The Reebok was still not full even at £20 a ticket, which surely proves that the Bolton fans don’t want to watch tedious football that involves nothing other than hoofing it up for a header while hacking people down at the other end. Long throws are something that no team of any note have ever prioritised as a tactical ploy but this was both the number one and number two tactic for boring Bolton today. Whether they had a choice is another matter.
Bolton Wanderers kicked off and attacked towards the travelling Gooners. A long throw from Speed was their opening gambit. Subtle or what? Senderos was slow to clear their first attack of note and his clearance was blocked so they had another long throw from Speed. Arsenal’s first attack was both unexpected and enjoyable, Hunt (I think) slipped and Pires had time to play a ball to Freddie in space who won the chase for the through ball with Jussi Jaaskelainen who came charging out but was chipped for the opening goal inside three minutes. That shut their fecking tedious drummers up for a bit, or maybe it was the noise in our end that drowned them out for a bit.
A good follow up move ended with Reyes then Nolan ran his studs down the back of Pat’s calf. Another good build up and a great ball from Pat to the speedy Clichy, in at left back for this match. Kolo was climbing while Nolan was backing in and a near ruck followed during which the demented psycho who was too deranged for Liverpool’s tastes swung an arm that clouted Lehmann around the head. Jens went down requiring treatment and the lino on the far side of the pitch immediately entered the field of play. A sure indication that he’d seen the incident and on his advice the red card was flashed. So the brain-dead Diouf, the most obnoxious player in the Premiership left the field, eventually. Needless to say the ignorant Bolton fans booed Jens the rest of the game for deliberately putting his head in the way of a swinging arm. What an absolute prick El-Hadji Diouf is!
So shades of Southampton: a goal up and ten men against us, only this time there were only nine minutes on the clock. Jens held a shot following a long throw from Speed, one of about eight-thousand tedious long throws throughout the match, this one was headed clear by Philippe ‘the solution to our problem’ Senderos. Stelios Giannakopoulos shoved Kolo in the back. Next up Reyes and N’Gotty were at it with Reyes getting a yellow card after what appeared to be an obvious foul on him. Did I mention the ref was that prat Steve Bennett? No? Well for my money, his inept interpretation of what was really happening on the pitch was the reason that Bolton didn’t finish the match with eight players on the pitch.
Kolo headed clear under pressure, that is to say the arms, legs and elbows of Davies. Davies was quite possibly the filthiest player on the pitch. Great pass from Clichy to Vieira on a run but he ran out of pitch. If you could be so kind as to imagine the remainder of what follows with: long throw from Speed and Senderos heads clear ever written every other sentence it will save me the bother of having to keep tying it. ‘Who’s that team we call the Arsenal, who’s that team we all adore’ Davies charges into Lehmann and Lehmann was booed for not falling down and throwing the ball in his net. When Nat Lofthouse battered players it was still legal. De Santis would have had occasion to book Davies on about ten separate occasions, but ref of the day was Steve ‘white stick’ Bennett.
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Dennis hit a long drive that was held low by Jaaskelainen. Stelios looking to dive the entire time, time after time he hit the deck with the tackle still to be made. Everyone missed a great free kick in from their right by Hierro and Pat was cynically hacked by Hunt as he broke away. Jose and Freddie played a nice one-two but the shot was saved. Philippe was brilliant against Davies. Rob bottled a tackle and Pat had to track back. A long throw and a naff header followed from Davies. Pat was taken out by Hierro and needed treatment. A rare foul throw spotted against Gael. More fouls from both sides, as the game remains bitty with an undercurrent of pure nastiness. An obvious handball by Speed in our box went unnoticed by Blind Pew. An inspired Arsenal move ended with a damn fine cross from Gael before Hunt fouled Rob yet again. ‘Big fat, big fat Sam, big fat, big fat Sam, big fat, big fat Sam, big fat Sam’s a wanker’.
Kolo saw off Davies and at the other end Rob was tripped on a run but made a meal of it. Yellow card for Rob, what a surprise, Stelios can fall over every thirty seconds and that’s ok it seems. But in all fairness to Bennett, would you like to book someone called Giannakopoulos? Arsenal broke again after yells for handball were ignored, shortly followed by the now standard Arsenal piss-take for hand ball which amounts to most of our fans jumping up and down shouting handball next time Jens caught it or when a throw is being taken. Arsenal break but Reyes failed to get in the cross, our next attack saw Reyes shot saved low. Two minutes of added time in which Gael won a corner that was worked to Dennis who fired in a low shot from range. One-nil up, Bolton with ten men, the usual filthy stuff from Allardyce’s team but this time we look like we can win things in the air and take the physical stuff. Dour, dire stuff to watch but this was all about reaching a Cup Semi Final that would be our fifth in five years.
The sun was in Jens eyes after the break so his baseball cap came out and was the only major change at half time. Long throw from Speed: repeat ad infinitum. Davies was very late on Clichy, who did well to avoid injury. Both Freddie and Jose were tripped in the same attacking move. A reckless challenge by Davies on Pires saw Bennett tell Rob to get up, apparently he was supposed to stand on the spot and let the filthy slag break his legs. Great tackle by Philippe on Stelios who despite his reluctance to stand upright remained their biggest threat. A deep free kick from Bolton went all the way through as yet again Stelios was tripped by the invisible sniper’s bullet. The dirtiest foul of the match was probably Davies on Senderos who had not been intimidated by the dirty oik and his long overdue yellow card followed this horrendous tackle. Davies backed into Kolo and won a free kick, Bennett is the pits, but you knew that didn’t you?
Dennis to Reyes in the clear but his fine shot was pushed around the post for a corner. ‘1-0 to the Arsenal’ Meantime Bolton fans moaned about every tackle and booed every Arsenal player who failed to get injured, also all those who were injured. A long throw from Speed (this one was different in that Freddie came away with the ball). Davies shoved Lauren over. Stelios hacked down Vieira but there was no card. A low shot came in from the short free kick passed to Kolo but this was held by their keeper (their keeper being so much simpler to type than Jussi Jaaskelainen). Davies jumped on Vieira’s back for another free kick. Hunt and Hierro were replaced by Jaidi and Candela who failed to burn it at both ends.
Reyes won a corner but a goal kick was given. Candela tripped Clichy who was playing well again and getting forward at will in the later stages. Nolan objected and threw the ball away: he got a yellow card for his petulance. Meanwhile Allardyce was moaning and ranting on the touchline because his poor little hard done by team were only being allowed to get away with murder instead of blue murder. A brilliant save by Jens from a header but a free kick had already been awarded against one of the half a dozen players shoving, pushing or pulling a blue shirt. Reyes won a deliberate corner off Gardner. Reyes to Bergkamp to Freddie who span on it but shanked over a decent chance. There may have been a bobble however, because the pitch in both the penalty areas was crap. Pat and Reyes broke away as our passing game was out doing their vain pressing, kicking and hoofing game.
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Three minutes added time during which in which it was all Arsenal. Jose to Freddie to Dennis whose shot was partially blocked by the advancing Jussi Jaaskelainen for a corner. Arsenal continued to pass Bolton to death and the killer move came when Bergkamp found Pires who twisted them inside out before setting up to Ljungberg with a sitter that he fired over the bar from all of three yards. It would have been a nice second finger to point in the direction of Allardyce but one finger will suffice for me.
Bennett awarded 24 free kicks against Bolton and missed at least as many again. But the top story is that we’ve now gone 413 minutes in open play from without conceding a goal. Thanks mainly to the fact that we’ve found a centre half who is ‘the business’. It’s still early days for young Philippe but you’d like to think that even our famous back four must be proud of the lad.