There's absolutely no need for scorpion kicks in football. Completely unnecessary, dangerous for all involved and likely to end in tears.
Which is exactly what makes them brilliant.
Why score with your head when you can fling your leg over the top of your back and throw yourself at the ball like a prime AJ Styles?
There are few capable of pulling off the high-risk technique, let alone using it to put the ball in the back of the net. Ex-Newcastle loanee Valentino Lazaro's ridiculous goal for Borussia Monchengladbach at the weekend wasn't enough to pull back three points, but it does make it into the following our illustrious list of wonder strikes.
Here's 90min's ranking of the 11 best scorpion kick goals of all time.
11. Freddy Guarin (2013)
Last but by no means least, Freddy Guarin's spectacular effort unfortunately came in an open training session for Inter in 2013.
It was too good to ignore, though, and there were fans in attendance, so it counts. Who needs matchdays to impress?
10. Charles-Edouard Coridon (2004)
In his only season playing for Paris Saint-Germain, midfielder Charles-Edouard Coridon scored an obscene scorpion kick to open the scoring in the Champions League against Porto.
It went on to inspire the victory, but there has to be question marks over the goalkeeping. Surely.
9. Zico (1993)
Brazilian legend Zico came out of retirement in 1991 when he accepted an offer to play football in Japan for Kashima Antlers.
Leaving his role in Brazilian government to turn out for the side was enough to earn him legend status probably, but he went one further by scoring an incredible, looping scorpion kick.
He's since described the goal as the best he ever scored during his career. Big talk.
8. Dmytro Ulyanov (2016)
Time for a mandatory trip to the Ukrainian second division, where household name Dmytro Ulyanov scored a textbook scorpion for his side FC Avanhard Kramatorsk. You remember it, right?
Rounding off the most Sunday league piece of play ever, Ulyanov pops up at the back post and, seemingly in slow motion, hurls himself into the air and knocks the ball in with his heel, before coming back down to earth level with a forward roll.
Has to be in the air for at least three working days, there.
7. Edinson Cavani (2011)
After putting two headers past Juventus, Edinson Cavani made it 3-0 Napoli and secured the match ball in 2011 by seemingly defying gravity.
Floating along the floor like he'd acquired a hoverboard from Back to the Future, he ends up flicking the ball into the back of the net with his heel. Whether or not he meant to, it happened and it was sublime.
6. Zlatan Ibrahimovic (2014)
As with any kind of list detailing freakish goalscoring abilities, Zlatan Ibrahimovic makes the cut. Obviously.
The big Swede bagged a scorpion kick for Paris Saint-Germain in a 4-0 romping of SC Bastia, bullying his defender and poking the ball into the far corner with his heel like Shawn Michaels.
Not quite as scorpion-like as some entries, but his composure and athleticism is seriously impressive.
5. Anthony Knockaert (2012)
When a player arrives in front of a new set of fans, it's always risky trying to play a flashy and audacious game, in fear of ruining a reputation that hasn't even been built yet.
Anthony Knockaert could've easily ended up as public enemy number one in Leicester by trying things like this in his first season, but he ended up the complete opposite for pulling it off.
Absolutely no need.
4. Valentino Lazaro (2020)
The goal that inspired the list, Valentino Lazaro's effort finds him breaking into the top four.
It wasn't enough to rescue any points for his side, but it was an incredible reaction to pull a goal out of a cross that ended up behind him. Bonus points for the exaggerated leap, too.
Newcastle fans will be ill with this.
3. Giuseppe Biava (2006)
In the 2006/07 season, Italian Giuseppa Biava scored an absolute wonder goal for Palermo in their dramatic 4-3 victory over Reggina.
Heading up the field for a free kick, Biava rotates his body mid-air and smashes the ball home with a scorpion kick. A spinning scorpion kick, from a centre back.
2. Henrikh Mkhitaryan (2016)
Manchester United's midfield Armenian had an up and down time during his short spell at Old Trafford, but this against Sunderland was his finest movement.
An instinctive effort from an Ibrahimovic cross, Henrikh Mkhitaryan whips the ball into the net with a pacey, low scorpion kick.
Legend says Roy Keane is still seething about how flamboyant it was.
1. Olivier Giroud (2017)
Welcoming in the new year doesn't come better than this.
Olivier Giroud tops the list with that scorpion kick against Crystal Palace on New Year's Day in 2017. Silky counter attack, incredible athleticism and a top bins finish.
Oh la la.
Source : 90min